Dear Eva:

My answer is that the right thing to do is to not acknowledge her birthday or the person who has the birthday at all, at any time of the year. Better have no contact whatsoever with a person who “constantly hurts you and treats you inferior” and who is “extremely toxic and hurtful; always the victim; completely disregard for my feelings because hers are the only feelings that matter”.

I suggest this not only because it is logical to do so, for your own well being, but because I did it myself, ending all contact with my mother. I do regret not having ended all contact, but not having done so many years earlier.

anita