Dear David:

“I feel like I have spent all my time working for people who don’t care about me at all”- regarding the recent job, reads to me that you didn’t have contact with the owner, only with the direct supervisors, and the direct supervisors had no power to keep you employed, that it was the owner’s way or the highway for them as well, as it was for you. Am I correct?

“in most places I have worked all I see is rich people who treat others like dirt get richer and happier”- did you really observe them happy and happier? If so what indicates to you that they are happy and happier?

“while people like me who try and be good and kind to others get the shaft… why do I bother trying to be a good person? It has never paid off for me, I have never gotten anything out of it”-

I figure if you repeatedly gave a lot to your employers and weren’t rewarded for it, better you stop overdoing for employers, and choose best you can an employer with acceptable practices, such as paid and unpaid vacation policies, sick days, retirement contributions and so forth. This would be my practical approach, having to do with good vs bad business practices in place and nothing to do with good vs bad people.

As far as being a good person taking care of your disabled girlfriend, I hope it is not the case here as well that “it has never paid off” for you. “I love my sister and my girlfriend and want to help them both but does that mean I just have to give up every hour of my time working to support them all?”

My answer: no, it does not mean that. Connecting self sacrifice to the concept of being a good person, the two are not congruent. Self sacrifice, such giving up “every hour of my time working to support them all” is more of a religious concept, religion which you don’t find comfort in, than it is a natural concept. In nature relationships are Win-Win, not Lose-Win. There is always a personal interest in an animal doing for another, for the herd or the social group.

There is a lot in your post. If you would like you can reply to what I wrote so far and we can continue to communicate.

anita