Thanks for first rehashing what I wrote and then giving me your input. I think I am not very good at writing this. Let me break it down in a couple of pieces- first my marriage. So no I don’t think it is misguided and disrespectful communication on my part. I never uninvited him to take pictures. I didnt just take any! I will agree to one thing you said is that I am pushing him away… someone described my situation in my marriage as the boy in Oliver Twist- always holding the bowl and asking for more! I think any self-respectful woman in my situation would not want to wait but let go. So now even if he tries, I am shut down. I was vulnerable and poured out to him and I am shut down.

Second piece, my coworker. Regarding what you said that may be it was not as intense for him as it was for me – possible but less possibly so! I could see what he got from it. May be he is processing it! Or else, why does he need to change his attitude towards me? In fact when we were talking, I first confessed to him that wish I had met him 5 years ago. And he asked the same after that, “why was I not in his life earlier?” He told me he likes me and that in me he sees a kindred spirit. I told him this connection we have, and him, they fill a gap in my life, a friend, a true friend that I was looking for! But as we open up more it got difficult for me to not want more. So I am looking for tools to control myself. I dont know if this is common for marriages – especially the ones that are a little more imperfect than others! So I do not want to do anything brash and in fact I have told my friend to also be objective and I will support him in doing the right thing. I know this thing is way too complex for many people to understand. It is definitely a very grey zone and that is why I want to be cautious.