That is a very good point. I didn’t even realize that’s how I phrased it. And I guess if I’m honest l, my heart wants to have hope, my brain however is realistic. So there’s a lot of back and forth. Like I’ll catch myself having conversations with him in my head about how things went down or my opinion on his or my behavior. I try to me mindful of that and acknowledge what I’m doing and change the subject in my head. What really helps me is my work. I have two fantastic jobs that I only recently got and working all day then coming home and momming it up with my kids helps so much. The weekends kind of blow because the kids are with their dad and I’m alone. My friends who live by me do Kid sports and other family stuff so a lot of times I just hang out by my self. It doesnt help that I live in a remote area so there’s no meet up kind of activities I can go to and meet new people. I mean I could go to the local bar but I’ve been giving my liver a break. (As they say when the heart and brain fight, it’s the liver that suffers). I don’t need to bring myself down farther!

I know I’m gonna be ok, it’s just the missing and omg the dreams! I have dreams about him, like doing normal every day things and I wake up all discombobulated. So yeah I still cry about it from time to time. Ok now I’m rambling! Ttys