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Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • October 21, 2018 at 8:41 am #232353
    Believe
    Participant

    We had a crush on each other since primary and we recently reconnected after like 14yrs. I knew he had a girlfriend and they had a baby but when we met he told me they had parted ways. After the first date, everything just fell into place. We had loads of fun, talked for hours each day and met on regularly. Problem started when he accidentally called me his exes name and i asked him to tell me the truth about their relationship. He confessed that they’re still on talking terms and that he would like to go back to her especially because he misses his baby. But the lady doesn’t want to. I was heartbroken. He kept saying he still loves me and don’t want to lose me . I fell for him and so making a decision of either leaving him or staying with him until she decides she wants him back. What should i do?

    October 21, 2018 at 9:08 am #232395
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Believe:

    What if you suggest to him a meeting of the three of you, so to figure out what is happening, hear from her what she thinks/ feels, what he has to say, all within a group conversation?

    anita

    October 21, 2018 at 11:08 am #232409
    Believe
    Participant

    I doubt it would be a good idea because the guy himself told him he wouldn’t mind having her back and i guess she’s just giving herself time to heal maybe? I feel like am on borrowed time. She’ll wake up one day and decide i want him back and he’ll leave. The worst part is I’ll have to live with the heartbreak because I’ll have chosen to stay with him despite him having told me of his situation

    October 21, 2018 at 11:30 am #232411
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Believe:

    Notice, you wrote: “I guess she’s just giving herself time to heal maybe?”-

    as unconventional as a meeting of the three people concerned reads like, it still may be a good  idea because if there will be honest communication, then you wouldn’t be guessing and ending that sentence I quoted with a question mark.

    Maybe in a meeting like that things will become clearer, not only to you but to him. He may be guessing too, he may have ? marks himself, questions he didn’t ask her. Those questions can still be asked.

    I suppose a meeting like that scares you, does it?

    anita

    October 21, 2018 at 11:37 am #232413
    Believe
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    you’re actually right just thinking about meeting her gave me goosebumps! I think am more afraid of the outcome but I’ll give it a thought.

    October 21, 2018 at 12:15 pm #232423
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Believe:

    Even if you agree to have such a meeting, he will have to agree to it as well as she, and each of them may be scared of such a meeting themselves. We people are afraid of confrontations, even though what I suggest is a meeting not aimed at confronting, but as making things clear, so everyone understands what is going on.

    With clarity, making choices is much easier. And so much time and heartache can be prevented!

    * I will be back to the computer in about fifteen hours.

    anita

    October 21, 2018 at 1:42 pm #232445
    Believe
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    makes alot of sense and I’ll talk to him and see what he thinks about the meeting.

    thank you very much for your advice and patience

    October 22, 2018 at 7:52 am #232543
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Believe:

    You are welcome. I hope you post soon with the results of the conversation with him.

    anita

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