Dear Eli:

You are welcome. I think it is  very important that if you date a man, that you make sure that you do not get pregnant and do not become  a mother.

The reasons I believe it is very important are the following:

1. You wrote: “why we must waste our life for kids that when they  grow up they go to their life”.

2. You wrote: “back to 5 years ago when I met my bf. he  is perfect I love him and every thing look fine but the problem  is  that he is married”. You expressed no concern for the two children involved, one   was a newborn baby and the  other was 7 year old when you met your lover.

You didn’t think: am I hurting  these children by being  their father’s lover? Maybe his wife is fighting with him in front of the children because he  is gone every day for hours being with me?

And when he told you that she does fight with him, “she always make fight and problem for every thing”, you still didn’t think about the well  being  of the two children.

3. You expressed severe lack of personal responsibility, suggesting that it  is not  your fault that this  man has you as his lover, that it is his wife’s fault for not having what  it takes to  keep him loyal to her. You also suggested that  it is  okay for you to be his lover because if it wasn’t  you,  it would  be another woman who will be  his lover (“It’s not my fault his wife can not commited her husband to herself” and “I am not source of problem and  even if  I l eave him he ..will have  other mistress again for  sure”)

4. You expressed that you don’t know  if you are interested in marriage, and that you highly value of being free and able to travel and shop whenever and wherever  you like. Having a child does not fit these values and lifestyle. I suggest that you make your life comfortable for yourself, but do not hurt existing children and do not bring  children into the world to “waste (your) life for kids that when they grow up they go to their life”.

anita