Dear  Eli:

Some people will  blame you.  But then, some  people will blame me for what I typed here for you. Some people do blame me every day.  So what?

Yes, it is uncomfortable, even distressing when others blame us, disapprove of us, not liking us, think bad things about us… but everyone  does, we can’t prevent it.

Think about this: in prisons, people who committed terrible crimes like murder blame other prisoners for doing worse crimes, in their minds.  So everyone blames everyone.

It is wise to think before sharing information with another person: what is the purpose of me  sharing? What do  I want to get by sharing this? Let’s say you are  in a therapist office and  by law all that you share is confidential, and  your purpose is to understand better and  feel better, then it is wise to share.

It is unwise to share with a stranger, one you don’t know at all, a person who can use  the information  you share against you. Let’s  say you share  with a stranger, or a person you don’t know well, so to feel better, and let’s say you do feel better but later  that  person shares what  you shared with  another person, gossiping about you. That will make you feel bad.  This is why it is not wise.

If and when you move to a new place,  better start a new life there, and  not  share the  past there except in a therapy setting or .. maybe, with a very  trustworthy person you know for many  months. Maybe.

anita