Dear afeels:

There is more to the issue of sexuality than disassociation, there is also the shame that was communicated to you by your parents: there  is the natural desire of a child to be approved by one’s parents, and therefore to feel shame  for experiencing sexual feelings and  guilty for feeling those and for engaging  in sexual activity.

There is the reality that certain sexual acts feel good regardless of who performs it, male, female or a robot.and therefore pleasure derived from a particular sexual act that can be performed by female or male, is not an indication of sexual  orientation.

To add to the complexity, there is that pornographic industry and  a person who is  heterosexual can experience sexual stimulation by watching homosexual activities. and still be  heterosexual.

It will take time for you and I to communicate about this complex  issue and I am willing. It  will be days and weeks, and we can take our time examining this issue, no rush.

I would recommend that you do avoid sexual activity for a while but do aim at a relationship with a man that does  not  involve sexual activity, if such a man exists who is interested!

I think that your healing, emotionally in  general and sexually in particular, is likely to  happen in the context of a healthy relationship  with a man who  is  honest, trustworthy, and committed to you. So might as well aim at such a relationship  first, no sex for a long while as you get to know each other.

anita