Hi Anita,

I’ve been trying to think of it and I do not know of any other fairness requirement other than the STD thing, which luckily for me is not an issue.

To clarify I have ‘hooked up’ with someone I met at a bar once and it was such an uncomfortable, and hollow experience for me that I stopped mid way. The other men I have engaged with I have met on 1-3 dates, but looking back that is way too fast to me and feels similar to ‘hook up’ aka no real trust/ emotional intimacy established.

I am interested in dating men again, but I realise that I have in the past failed to establish my needs- that is emotional intimacy/ trust before sex. It is all so new to me that I guess I have rushed the process looking back and also somewhat feared rejection. As well I find it hard to be vulnerable enough to admit that I am a person who needs time and is uncertain of how long that time will take for fear that there is something wrong with me/ that opening up in this way will make the man reject me. But I have realised if they run away then it is better I know sooner rather than later. I think it is the vulnerability that scares me. To show myself completely, and to let someone near enough terrifies me and this ties so much into the issue of sex as well.

You have given me a lot to think about, and hopefully I can report back to you further about this.

Kind regards.