Dear Lily:

We all have inner critics. Most of us have overly active, aggressive inner critics. You have a particularly  aggressive, persistent inner critic that in the context of interactions with people it tells you that you are doing something wrong, or that you did something  wrong, every step of the way, all day long, all the time, almost all the time.

So often that when  interacting with a man, you don’t get the mental space to learn who the man is. He can be the most selfish man in the world, a dishonest, even cruel man (ex., man in dormitories), and yet you will be wondering what you did wrong, and how you should not hurt his feelings.

It is as if you took ownership of ALL that is wrong or could be wrong, freeing others from any ownership to what they do wrong.

I will soon be away from the computer for about sixteen hours. Don’t despair, Lily. I had a  particularly aggressive and persistent inner critic myself, almost as bad as yours. There is a way to turn the volume on it, to silence it gradually, slowly. It  takes certain techniques but also insight on how it came about.

Because your inner critic probably tells you that you post too much or type the wrong things or bother me, etc., I am letting you know that your inner critic is wrong and often it makes no sense. So post anytime.

anita