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Dear Jack:
I understand that you may not be able to reply if your phone is confiscated but I do hope to read from you soon and will welcome you posting anytime you can post and want to. I will read and reply to you anytime you post.
I don’t understand the solitude idea, clearly you need helpful people in your life, now and always.
Like I wrote to you before, your life can get so much better and looking back at this time will seem so far away, at that future point. Persevere, find another place to live once you are out of the hospital, if possible, a place where you will be treated empathetically and respectfully.
It is okay that you are “unable to feel love to anyone now”- you don’t have to and better not love people who are not good to you or for you. Don’t try to force emotions, relax best you can.
anita