Dear laelithia:

I don’t think that the reason you are not attracted  to your boyfriend is that he is emotionally unhealthy. After all you described your ex of two years ago as emotionally unhealthy in a different way, yet you were physically attracted to him.

Notice that when your current boyfriend stated that he wanted to break up  with you, your interest in him increased significantly. Soon later, when he considered resuming a relationship with you, your interest in him declined. And now when the relationship is back to where it was, your interest  is weak. So one factor regarding your attraction to a man is whether he is rejecting you or announces that he is not available for a relationship, that increases your interest/ attraction to a man.

Regarding your ex of two years ago, you wrote that he had “never accept(ed) responsibility for any wrongdoing or pain caused”, just like your mother, and you “could never ‘win’ or ‘earn’ them”. Your desire to win or earn the interest  of a person like your mother is a factor in your attraction to a man.

Your current boyfriend apologized for getting angry at you (although I don’t think he had a reason to apologize, unless he verbally abused you which I don’t remember reading that he did), so … nothing to “‘win’ or ‘earn'”- no  interest, no attraction…?

anita