Hi Lara,

What you experienced is unfortunately normal in our health care system today, regardless of what type of insurance you have.  A health care advocate is what you need, and it can be really tough if you don’t have a friend or relative able to do that for you.  I am a health care advocate for my husband, 2 friends and myself!   So here’s how you handle being an advocate for  yourself:  First, write down a list of your questions.  Second, knowing that the doctor is scheduled for just a few minutes with you, you need to work hard on your list to get it down to 3, no more than 5 of the most important questions.  The questions need to be simple and direct.  It always takes me a couple of days to work on getting the final 3 or 5 questions figured out to be sure they don’t overlap and that I haven’t missed anything important.  Have the questions written on a piece of paper when you go in, and have a copy that you leave at home.   Then, tell your doctor that you have written questions and that you want them to help you understand the answers.  Give them the written questions and ask the doctor to answer the questions in a way that will become an official part of your medical record.  A few doctors will still write separate letters that they send to their patients that become part of their official medical file, but most doctors offices now have laptops where the doctor can talk and type type and then print out the record of the visit right then and there.  Your medical record legally belongs to you, so by presenting the questions in writing and requesting that the answers be made part of your medical record, you will always have access to the answers.  And you can read and understand the answers better when you get home after the visit, which may help you understand future questions that may arise.  If the office has a patient email system, that is another great way to get your carefully written, top priority questions answered in writing, ultimately establishing a strong dialog between you and the doctor.

It can be so terribly stressful to go to the doctor to begin with, especially when you are riding the emotional rollercoaster fueled by fear and pain, but to be so very rushed through the visit in our health care system today makes it extra hard.  Don’t give up – get the information you need in writing!   L