Dear nycartist:

“I remember when I was a child, my uncle was a ‘cool’ guy, someone I genuinely looked up to, and who was good to me… I miss what he used to be and get very sad thinking about how that person is gone. It’s like grieving over another death in a way”-

– a young child automatically looks up to any adult who is nice to the child, automatically trusts that adult completely and sees the adult as all-good. Later in life, the adult cherishes those memories.

I re-read your original post: there has been a feud between your mother and your uncle for 7.5 years, a feud that started after your grandfather died and intensified after your grandmother died last October. It is basically a feud between two siblings over the money and property left by parents, over inheritance and who pays for what following their death, if I understand correctly.

At times your uncle called and texted you “like a maniac” at 6 am repeatedly, “all the way till midnight” , arguing his case, trying to turn you against your mother while you were working and caring for your two year old. “He is jealous of the property my mom gets to inherit”.

Your uncle may have a valid case, financially and your mother may be unfair to him, I don’t know. The reason I referred to him earlier as the big-bad-wolf is because his behavior harms his own children and your own daughter in the process, distressing the children either directly or indirectly by distressing the children’s mothers, you and your aunt).

He should have gone about his case legally, through attorneys, and contain his words and actions to the legal route. Did  he by the way, involve an attorney on the matter?

anita