Hi Valora,

Thank-you for your thoughtful response. We have had conversations in the past about wants and needs, but not necessarily about our boundaries. We did not have a discussion about our expectations before leaving for a vacation with my brother. I don’t know if we have had a truly honest conversation with each other about our expectations and needs in the relationship because both of us are scared of losing each other. I am scared if our wants and needs don’t match that we will lost our connection, something I am terribly afraid of. He has said before that he will never leave me, which in some ways is flattering and in others it’s scary. I am so afraid of losing him that I might have been tunnel visioning.

It’s comforting to hear that we just need to have an honest conversation, no matter now much it hurts. I’ve been so busy convincing myself that we can meet in the middle on everything, including our needs, that I might be ignoring potential red flags between us. Thank-you for your advice. xxx