Hi Stargazer,

Firstly kudos on taking the first step. That is awesome!

However, you have asked multiple times if he wants to be in a relationship and he said no. I understand that he is a great guy but clearly he does not want what you want. He is just not ready, he may be in the future, but you do not know how long that will be. The longer you wait the more this will hurt.

The feeling that you are meant to be is natural because you like him.

To let go of the attachment, you need to see things for what they are and how that is different from what you want. There is a beautiful future you are seeing with him and it is that expectation that is making it hard to leave all this behind. The possibility that there are great things ahead is making it hard for you to accept what is.

Seeing him everyday is of course hard, but it wouldn’t be if you let go of this expectation and look for what you need elsewhere.

Remove him from your love life completely. You are friends, you do not need to inform him of your decision to move on. If you were to date casually, go out with other guys and enjoy hobbies – you will see that there is no one person that you need in your life – every person has something great to offer,  some people you may be able to connect with better than others but you need not wait for one person for eternity. You would make life much easier for both of you by letting this go and just staying friends – friends at work – there is no need to mix one-sided love, work and your children into one relationship.

gj