Dear Vaughn679:

She is married, in her early forties; you are single, in your late twenties. She is “one of those infectious characters”, extroverted, initiates conversations; you “suffer from depression,  introverted and slightly shy”. She has “a husband, mutual friends from work, her family and other friends”; you have “acquaintances/ friends… not many close friends”.

“I do wonder if her affection and willingness to talk to me so much is genuine or out of pity, given my quiet life”- I would say that it is possible that she enjoys hearing herself talk and she can hear a whole lot of herself talking when she is talking to you, because you are quiet, and you are not competing with her for talking-time. Maybe her children compete with her, maybe her husband does, maybe other friends.

A whole lot of the time when two  people talk, each person is not really listening but waiting for his or her turn to talk next, planning what to say next, waiting for the opportunity to talk. If you are not like that, if you really listened to her, then you are different from the other people in her life.

You being a man, and a younger man, it may have played a part in her motivation to communicate with you.

She’s gone quiet on you since her anniversary maybe because her anniversary didn’t go  well. Maybe she is troubled, and … she doesn’t want to hear herself talk, she doesn’t like what she has to say this time.

“What is the best way to go about it?”- because maybe her marriage is in trouble, it is better that you don’t contact her, being a man, a younger man, past flirtation, some attraction to her on your part… better stay away from a married woman who may experience trouble in her marriage.

What do you think?

anita