Dear laelithia:

In your most recent post about your boyfriend in Switzerland you wrote: “I dread the idea of my life without him in it… to lose him on top of everything, I’m just terrified”.

Two years ago, May 2017, you wrote about another man you talked to for two weeks, then saw 13 times total: “I feel inconsolable that he’s gone now… My heart longs for that ‘love’ again.. I have a hole, deep longing that never seems to go away.. I find myself absolutely crushed, that for the first time in my 28 years of life, I finally felt satiated, that I had the love I always wanted, and just as quick as it came, it was gone… I have never felt that way about anyone before, so grateful to finally have that emptiness inside me filled”.

Shortly after, July 2017, you had just a few dates with a different man, you wrote about him: “I am obsessed with thoughts of ‘what could have been’.. every minute that I do not call of message him feels like fighting some sort of addiction”.

What you feel now about the guy in Switzerland is not about who he is, I don’t think, it is about that “hole, deep longing that never seems to go  away”. It is how you felt as a child, a feeling that gets activated when you experience a break or a breakup from a man.

If you re-read my posts to you May 9-11, today, you will see that I suggested that you see a psychiatrist  so to lessen your obsessive thinking (you can hardly hear or read what I write to you because your obsessive thought are so loud and repetitive, that my voice drowns in that noise), then attend quality psychotherapy so to address your childhood experience (that hole, deep longing) and proceed from there. Why don’t you make an appointment with a psychiatrist for this week?

anita