Dear Daniel:

“I should be happy to have a home and to live with my family”- but you are not happy, and you are not happy for a reason, so  it is understandable why you are not happy living at home.

“I don’t love myself. How could I when I don’t feel loved by anyone?”- you asked.

I think that for you, to be loved, means someone listening to you when you  need to talk, truly listening, getting to know you, asking you questions about yourself, about what you hope for, what scares you, someone engaging with you in deep talks about you. This is why you enjoy doing these things for other people (“listen to them when they need to… getting to know people, asking questions about themselves, their hopes, fears… Having deep talks with another one. It can be anyone, really”-

– when a person wants to really get to know us and asks us questions and listens, and wants to know more.. we get to know  ourselves. And we feel better when that happens, a whole lot better.

Question is how to get that love: it’s not at home. Your two year old brother, as loving as he is, is too young to talk. Your mother and step father, they don’t love you this way. And instead of hanging around campus after classes, socializing, you take the train home.

It would be a wonderful thing if you did live near campus. I don’t think it will be selfish at all for you to arrange this. What do you think?

anita