Hey Emilia (and all)

This is a subject I’ve recently come to terms with- or at least have become more self aware and accepting of.

We are surrounded in a world that judges us on how popular we are, how many ‘friends’ we have, how many ‘likes’ we get. We are constantly having to aspire to the standard set by somebody or something else and anything falling short of this is failure and before we know it we have lost sight of who we really are and the potential to live life the way we were intended to live it.

To be individual, to dare be our selves and to live a life where we are true to ourselves is a beautiful and enviable thing.

True self love can only ever come from within and can only ever be achieved if we are connected to who we really are. For far too long in my life and despite trying to resist, I have succumbed too many times to feeling wrong inside if I don’t conform to the learned behaviour, if I don’t fit in with the crowd or if I don’t adjust parts of who I am to be more successful in life. Someone else’s definition of successful, someone else’s definition of happiness!

I have always (from way back to my first re-collective memory) had a natural yearning for high levels of solitude. I remember the comfort and re-assurance I gained as a young child from sitting in a softly lit lounge watching tv alone with the rain hammering against the windows on a dark Friday night. Rainy Friday nights are my favourite thing in the world and have been ever since. They are symbolic to me of that feeling of who I am, what I love and how I want to be; by choice. I share that feeling with myself because I’m the only one that truly understands what it feels like to me. It is a choice to share my time with me, to share my happiness with me. God knows I share enough of the crappy times with me so I owe myself- right 🙂

There’s nothing wrong with spending high levels of time alone. It is who you are. It is what you need. Only you will know if you have crossed the line between being alone and being lonely and whilst you’re happy- you are never, ever alone.

Celebrate who you are. Those people who can only exist surrounded by others and in the company of others are missing something that you have. They have no more right to judge you for your choice than do you them.

Love others too but choose who and how you love. I have retained a very small number of people in my inner circle of trusted and loved friends- the ones who I treat to the true me. The ones who I speak and act from the heart with. The ones I can love because I can love myself first (or at least keep working on it).

Its your choice. Everything in your life is your choice. Don’t ever doubt or question the choices you make that come from within- they are the ones that are usually right

x