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Is there any hope?

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  • December 18, 2019 at 8:54 am #328259
    Jess
    Participant

    I met a guy three months ago on a dating app. We both wanted a serious relationship leading to marriage.

     

    When we met in person we had insane chemistry and connected right away. Fast forward to 3 months in he said he was conflicted because he likes me a lot but needs time to fight his fears ( he has recently been going through a rough mental patch due to work related stress) and he is scared of jumping into a serious relationship after his previous one failed and he only realised this when we started to talk about our future and serious stuff.

     

    I have been there for him through his downs and I was starting to feel him blowing hot/cold..so I discussed it with him and decided space would be the best option for him to figure out what he wants as I was starting to fall for him, he didn’t want me to stop all contact but I did and said I’d give him a month to sort out his life like he requested and decide if he wanted something serious as that’s what I want but there would be no contact.

     

    He replied saying he was sad and thanked me for understanding and giving him time to fight his demons and said let’s see where the future takes us.

     

    Am I being naive in hoping he will return and commit? Or should I just move on?

    December 18, 2019 at 10:15 am #328423
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jess:

    You told him that you’d “give him a month to sort out his life”. I figure it takes way more than a month to “fight his demons”-

    – His demons being his fears (“scared of jumping into a serious relationship”)- fear is powerful.

    You wrote that when you met, the two of you aimed at “a serious relationship leading to marriage”. If he was sincere about it, then he quickly got scared and is no longer aiming at a serious relationship.

    So I would say, better you move on. When you meet another candidate for a serious relationship, see if you can figure out- before getting physically intimate with him, so you don’t get hurt this way again- if he is scared of what he says he wants, and how deeply scared he is.

    Post more anytime.

    anita

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