Hello Anita,

Wow! I wasn’t expecting you to read back to previous posts.. that’s very thoughtful and kind of you.

Yes, my relationship with ex ended over a year ago and I’ve never looked back. We never ended up moving in together (thank god–as I’d later find out he struggled with a sex addiction unbeknownst to me and had a secret email account he used to email hundreds of people online, i had NO idea that was happening!). That was a toxic relationship, and the first one I’ve ever had. And of course had a lot of pain do to the secrecy and almost betrayal I felt after learning more about his deeper issues. I learned a lot, and am so glad the chapter is over. Though I do wish him the best.

I currently don’t live at home with my mother… I realized a lot of the stagnation, etc. was due to that relationship. So many amazing things have happened since ending that relationship. I live somewhere new and am very happy here, with a great job, and spend my time doing the things I love. I hadn’t been focused on dating after my ex, because I realized I had a lot to work on in myself—yet happened to meet this new guy who I became attracted to and it just sort of happened.

I think what I’m struggling with is the pain from feeling rejected and like I’m not good enough to date. If I was good enough, he would want to date me. This pain is turning into anger and feelings of being “used” and “led on”–as HE is the one who asked me out, and suggested more dates, but never followed through. So I was sitting over here waiting, yet when I finally brought it up–he said he doesn’t want to date. I just felt hurt and confused by it all. Why wasn’t he just honest from the start? and why wouldn’t he want to date me if he likes me enough to be try and be friends and also is attracted to me?

Thank you Anita for your response.