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Reply To: Caring for ageing father versus self love

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#341360
Anonymous
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Dear singlechild:

Regarding the Parent Resident Visa Category in New Zealand, I read (laneneaverimmigration. co. nz) that the category was closed in 2016 and opened  Feb 2020, with the first selection of applicants May this year, only 1,000 parent applications per annum (a massive reduction from 5,500 under the previous Parent Category), and the income levels for sponsors increased significantly under the new policy to NZD 106,080 (1 sponsor for 1 parent), and NZD 159,120 (sponsor and partner, combined, for 1 parent). In addition,  sponsors are required to provide proof, via inland Revenue tax statements, that they have met the minimum income figures two out of three of the last three years immediately preceding the submission date of the application, so you have to meet these figures for a minimum of two years before you can sponsor. It reads that the government concern behind the income requirement is “whether the sponsors wishing to bring in their parents can pay for the subsequent health treatment of their parents in the future”, and that it is, as it seems to me, a very restrictive policy.

You asked in your original post: “What is my role and duty (if any) towards caring for my father as he grows old?… Is my caring for my father at the cost of my partner and myself.. correct?”, in the situation where you, 31,  live with your partner in NZ (where you want to continue to live), and your father, 74,  lives alone in your home country, taking into account the very restrictive immigration policy to NZ.

My answer: your father was a very loyal and dedicated husband to his wife: “My father was always there for my mother like a rock… My father was always by her side. He gave up his social circle, a full time business and pretty much everything else to keep my mother going”. Perhaps because he gave up his social circle while your mother was sick for years, he now “lives alone, without any friends or family nearby to support him”.

A man so dedicated to his wife deserves all the care and loyalty imaginable, under any and all circumstances, from the woman he has been so dedicated to-  his wife. Not from his daughter. His legacy perhaps is his dedication to his spouse. If you want to continue his legacy, then be dedicated to your spouse, or partner in life.

Make sure healthcare is available to him in his country, that he has a comfortable home, that if he needs assistance, he has access to such services, send him cards in the mail, packages with little gifts, visit him once a year or so, and if he wants to move to NZ in a few years from now, understanding the restrictive nature of the process and how long it will take, if successful, apply for a Parent Visa for him.

anita