Dear kiwiboy0897:

You are a good writer, you write well. But for the purpose of the exercise I suggested, you are too good of a writer. I need you to write like a four year speaks. A four year old will not use words like: “I was poised in bed.. in a state of bliss” etc. A young child doesn’t have this vocabulary.

When I suggested the exercise I didn’t specify the above to you (I don’t think I did), but it is clear to me now that it needs be in the words of a four year old.

You wrote: “I could hear my brother, yelling.. the sounds of metal things being thrown.. I was worried, but I still felt safe”- I don’t think that it is possible for a child woken in the middle of the night hearing such sounds to feel safe, worried but safe, even if his older sister is there with him.

“I was at home, and nothing can ever hurt me at home”- a child hearing what you described would worry that his mother will get hurt, or his brother.. someone out there were the sounds were being made.

What you described is an account that is heavily edited by the adult- you. If you want, you can try to redo the exercise- don’t try to tell it well, don’t worry about the quality of your writing and keep your vocabulary limited. Type a word, then pause to get a feeling, type something that comes to mind or heart, don’t worry about logic consistency.

Another point: what you remember as the events of one night, is probably a combination of memories from different nights or days, maybe months and years apart, all combined into a one event memory- it is the nature of our adult memory regarding our long ago early childhood. So don’t worry about accuracy of the events themselves. I am interested in your emotional experience as a child, not much in the details of the events.

anita