Dear Carol:

“Asking if he wants these things with me seems too early at 6 months, possibly too ‘needy'”-

-you can ask a man what is he looking for, in a woman. It’s a fair question. If he answers you  honestly, you can figure out if there is a match between what he wants and who you are or want to be. Six months of dating is not too early to ask this question. It’s fair to ask it on the very first date, or before the first date (in the case  of online dating).

“the guessing and waiting game.. seems to breed over thinking and analyzing! Which stem from this fear I have of getting hurt”- we are afraid to ask and get the wrong answers, so we don’t ask and suffer from the wrong answers we get anyway, without asking the questions.

We can hide from reality,  avoid confronting it, deny it- but reality doesn’t hide from us, it will confront us eventually, and it will not be denied! So better confront it in our timing, before we invest too much in what’s not likely to work out for us.

Regarding appearing too needy for asking a question- depends on the wording and the tone. You can ask almost any question in a strong, confident tone of voice, and you won’t appear needy.

You  have an amazing 11 year old- teach her to ask questions, to word the questions correctly and use a confident tone when asking, for the purpose of getting the information she needs so to make good decisions in every context of life.

I too miss sitting with people, particularly in our local taproom which I used to visit in the afternoons a few times a week.. when will that happen again.. I don’t know. How strange it is, first time in my life.

Post here anytime, no (biological) viruses transmittable through the world wide web, and although we are not present with each other in-person, it’s still real human beings, living and breathing, behind the keyboards and computer screens, interacting with each other.

anita