Hi, Valora

“If you can sort of get to the point where you’re more understanding of who your boyfriend is and how he responds to things and manages feelings and shows love, and if that understanding can make you feel better overall, then it doesn’t even matter what’s “normal” with other relationships, because understanding can make happiness normal in your own relationship, even if it appears different from others.”

You’re absolutely right. I think I was trying to normalize my relationship according to everyone around me.  I didn’t realize that my normal is mine alone and it doesn’t have to be the same as everyone else’s. I felt like something was odd when we weren’t like everyone else. But, I guess we all have different circumstances. We are pretty compatible since I’m like fire and and he’s like water so we both somehow balance each other out. I’ll have to really be on the lookout for signs on how he shows love and what his true personality is like. Maybe, I missed a part of him. I’ll try to be more patient and see how he reacts/does to what I want. It’s just I got impatient because we had certain conversations for a whole year and nothing really changed. We are going on our 4th year…

I just spoke to him and he felt my vibe of disconnect but he still remained as he was before and didn’t get angry at me. He seems to understand emotions more than I thought he did. Maybe, he’s like at a level where he doesn’t necessarily act on it like I do. He’s pretty calm and logical when it comes to me it seems like. Goodness, I feel like a hot mess compared to him. I feel embarrassed now.

-Tee