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Dear Soul-searcher:
“What you have said somewhat scares me, will I really never be ok and happy and just have these happy emotions from time to time? Does this mean I will never be happy in any relationship or job I pursue in life?”-
– if I answer: yes, you will never be ok and happy, you will never be happy in any relationship or job you pursue in life, other than from time to time- it will read like I am predicting the future, and that would be arrogant of me.
But my life experience, my own story, other people’s stories point again and again.. and yet again to the following reality: when our childhood experience is significantly troublesome, we keep re-experiencing the childhood we had, no matter where we are, with whom and in what new circumstances.
It is possible to free oneself from that troublesome childhood emotional experience if we process it and release it. It takes a lot of work over a lot of time. There is no quick way (we tried all the quick ways, haven’t we).
As is, your childhood experience exists in many neuropathways in our brain, spread out, taking over/ interrupting the here-and-now area of your brain. What I mean by processing your childhood experience, is to create new connections/ neuropathways in your brain, over time, that will contain your childhood experience to one area (the Past), and in so doing, free your here-and-now area (the Present) from your childhood experience.
This definitely is an emotional journey, a gradual emotional learning journey. But most people who start on this journey quit it because we don’t want to confront that pain of childhood. We keep re-living it, but we don’t want to look at it, more precisely, we don’t want to be fully aware of how we felt back then.
anita