Dear user34:

“I am blaming myself for the reactions I had when he was drinking.. I was getting anxious, scared, and acted very nervous when he did that” – there was no way for you to not feel the way you felt, and acting very nervously, such as talking more quickly than usual, or in a higher tone, or moving faster, you can’t help  those automatic, immediate reactions either. No one can.

People are not robotic mechanisms that can feel calm at all times and act perfectly (whatever that is) at all times. We are human animals who feel all kinds of emotions, many of those emotions are very uncomfortable, some of them are scary.

We are supposed to help each other, not hurt each other. Once you figure you can’t help someone, and that he can’t or doesn’t want to help you- game is over, better abandon ship, turn the wheel and move in a different direction.

Post here anytime, and I will be glad to reply to you.

anita