Dear Rlkii:

Of the two plans: A) Continue to say No when it doesn’t work for you and not contact him when it does work for you/ say no when he contacts you and it does work for you, and B) Continue to say No and contact him when it does work for you-

– if you really have no motivation to change him and/or the casual, no expectations nature of the relationship, then choose B.

Problem is, it is reasonable to expect him to give you a notice before getting together so that you can get a babysitter. It is not decent on his part, to not give you such notice. Maybe he is lacking understanding of your situation and maybe he doesn’t care. If he doesn’t care- is that a problem for you, that he may not care to inconvenience you, to cause you to “scramble to figure out a way to get a  babysitter, etc.”?

(I will be back to the computer in about 10 hours from now).

anita