Hello, Alisha, What struck me in reading this thread and your responses to Anita’s questions is the struggle and stress your life is under right now, and your mom’s ill health. When things like this happen in life, when our stress levels go up, we can find ways to minimize our pain and suffering. So we might focus on a new job or focus on a new lover, etc. It is impossible to know if one loves another person when we haven’t met them. Knowing someone strictly online is not enough, we can hide our identities and real personalities for these brief encounters. Same goes with phone conversations. It is the knowing someone daily, knowing how they act at work, at home, at school by listening to them and observing them in real life. I can be nice for 30 minutes on the phone or online in a game but in real life I might be a total jerk. I think it would help you to find local help in coping with your family situation and mom’s ill health. Are you old enough to get a part time job, maybe you even have one? Instead of focusing on just this one person, perhaps stay busy with a job, with schoolwork, with helping in the house and try to limit the online coping. No one can diagnose you online here and as Anita said, there is help in the community, through your school or through the country or city mental health services, mental health america, NAMI. There are support groups for families going through kidney disease with a loved one. I wonder if your obsession is really a way to minimize the stress in your life or if you do have a true need for a mental health diagnosis. It is like we have these ruminations or obsessive thoughts as a way of NOT coping or thinking about our stress in life, our mom’s illness, the lack of money, etc. In other words, I am going to focus on this boy, do I love him or don’t I love him, as a way to avoid thinking about my mom’s health and my family stress. It is a hard time for you and your family right now and I hope things get easier.