Hi Neuman, I wanted say that although you it feels like you are going through a tough time, from your story what I see and hear is that LOVE has touched you and opened your heart. That journey is not easy but is wonderful. It sounds like you have been bottling and burying feelings which only make you shrink, love will make you grow… but there are always growing pains. You are not alone and never have been even if it feels like – his journey will led you to YOU and the best love affair of your life. I have a written on TB about my own journey of love through hell and back to arrive at freedom …. It is wonderful that you have found yourself here… All of this will make you a real nurse which is a role based in sharing and giving Love, but you must receive to do this…I don’t want to plug, but so check out my site: http://www.rediscoverthemagic.com ~ I am a therapist and healer and a lot of what you have shared sounds so much like most of my clients and what I write about.. Take care and always come back to loving yourself first!!! Jo xx