Dear sad.cloud:

You shared that you’ve always been “extremely sensitive, anxious and emotionally fragile”, and that you realized only last week that you’ve been suffering from OCD/ OCD tendencies most of your life. After suffering a minor injury a few weeks ago, staying at home, you started obsessing about your past, and mistakes from your childhood, feeling “an intense sense of anxiety, compulsion to confess and.. figure it out”.

You are currently “stuck on this childhood memory”- when you were 13, a 14 year old kid in your school who was “constantly bullied” committed suicide. You now remember having witnessed one of the episodes when he was bullied/ “publicly attacked”. You remember that when you found out that he died, you felt guilty. You do not remember “ever saying anything mean to him”, and the school friends you contacted don’t remember you (or themselves) bullying him.

But you do not trust yourself (“I do not trust myself one bit”). You figure that you probably laughed with everyone else when he was bullied and did not protect him, “maybe something worse”. “I feel I am (at least partially) the reason he committed suicide. I have this burning urge to.. figure it out”.

I need to take a break and will be back to your thread in a few hours to reply further. If you can add, before I return, anything about your childhood experience that may be relevant to you being as anxious as you’ve been- please do.

anita