Wow! It’s like looking in a mirror! LOL!

I can’t believe how many times I’ve heard this story:

1) Man and women decide to separate
2) Man finds comfort in the arms of another woman
3) Man develops a high intensity physical relationship with new woman
4) Man begins to sense that something “doesn’t feel right”, but can’t put his finger on it.

It frustrates me to no end that so many men experience this pattern and we’re never given a heads up or advice on what not to do during a separation or divorce. I’m going to take out billboard ad and paste this all over the world: DO NOT PURSUE A NEW RELATIONSHIP DURING YOUR SEPARATION OR SOON AFTER YOUR DIVORCE!

I’ve been in the exact same situation – you get divorced and you simply take your wife out of the picture and put another women in her place physically, mentally, and emotionally. You haven’t changed, your behaviour hasn’t changed, your thoughts about relationships, love, and sex haven’t changed, heck, you haven’t even changed your living space, but yet you still expect this new women and relationship to be better than your last. Been there, done that, and it does not work.

I could go on for hours, but all I can say is trust your instincts, therapist, and friends on this one – this girl is not right for you right now. I’m sure she’s wonderful and would perfect for you a year or two down the line, but you need to spend some time alone. You need to get some solid footing before you can pursue another relationship, otherwise, you’ll find yourself married and divorced very soon.

As hard as it is, let this one go by. You’ll definitely meet another women when you’re in a much clearer head space and you’ll both be better for it.

Not to scare you off from taking action, but a word of warning – if you’ve haven’t been alone since you were 18, this break-up is going to hurt. Might even be more painful that the separation from your wife, so brace yourself with plenty of space and time to process your emotions.

Best of luck!