Dear Ashmitha:

You are welcome. “What do you suggest about this? .. Withhold intimacy?”-

– I am not sure about the verb “withhold”, it suggest dishonest manipulation perhaps. Thing is, he has no rights for your body: he doesn’t have the right to use your body for his sexual pleasure. It is a privilege, not a right. If you wanted to have sex with him with no other expectations but sex, that would be one thing. But as I understand it, you want sex and to be wanted and treated as a person/ friend. If you don’t get the second part, don’t give away the first part, because for you, the two  go together.

“Ask for weekends dates? Ask for phone calls?”- no, time to stop asking. Just tell him this is not working for you, that you are not happy with the way things are. If he asks you why, tell him that you already told him many times in so  many ways, if he says he had no idea- well, then you know he never really listened to you.

Don’t ask, don’t chase him- withdraw and see what he does, if anything.

anita