Peggy,

Thank you for your kind and supportive words.  And congratulations on your poetry reading!  I am glad you received some applause.

I am trying not to lose heart.  I slept better last night (with the help of prescription sleep aid), but I had a bit of a rough morning.  My girlfriend is incredible and super supportive, but I know my mental illness is taking a toll on her as well.  I could not have dreamed up a more supportive person then her.  My condition had us both crying this morning.

I applied for two more jobs this afternoon.  One that I am excited about and another not so much.  I found another opportunity last night that I plan on applying for by the end of the weekend.

Regarding my job search, I think I am struggling with confidence.  Grad school really messed with me self-esteem wise.  It is weird because many times and situations I feel like I have unstoppable confidence, but then other times I feel like a frightened kid incapable of anything.  One of the reasons I was a grad student for so long was because I did what I wanted to do for my dissertation and did not let my advisor push me around.  I went head to head with him in dissertation defense and proposal meetings and stood my ground.  I do not know if it is because I have been out of the “fulltime” work world for so long or if it is because I do not know precisely that I want to do next that I feel so fragile right now.  I am trying to change my mindset.

Again Peggy, thank you for your kind words and support.

Richard