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Sorry to hear about your health issues. It’s always something. I am having absolutely the worst allergies\asthma ever. Disgusting.
I hear you and I agree with a lot, even though I don’t know how the my childhood trauma is affecting me now. Really not that in touch with my emotions on that level. My thought process about this subject is very limited unless other disciplines. But even if you are 100% on point, I still don’t know what I am supposed to do. I will see a therapist, but I have this mental thought and I am pretty sure it’s an accurate representation of reality, is that until I am super fit physically (and emotionally), have a house, and can show a woman that I can be a good father, I have NO chance. I know that’s not always the case, but I am going based on the last few years of my life. I am invisible to local women. I’ve had times where I was lost before about career and other things, and even thought I was feeling lost I knew there were avenues that I could take to improve my life and I did and it has. But this relationship problem, I truly feel it will break me. Not being overly dramatic or anything like that. I truly feel like I will lose my mind being this lonesome. I have friends, family, people I know and can call, but I am alone. It’s so painful that the very thought makes me nauseous