Dear Anita:

I’m curious what is the energy everybody talks about. Let me give you a example . Her energy is bad I don’t want to be around her . People say this about me  .Is it because I talk about my problems with them that I haven’t found solutions to , or maybe they can feel when I’m in a bad mood ? When someone hurts me or Im going thru difficult situations that I have to get thru on my own I shut out people who hurt me or can’t help me bcuz I have to push thru it alone . Growing up people ignored me but it only hurt when my  family or men I dated did  .

This morning, as I was rereading Michael Singer’s excellent book, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, the quote above jumped out at me. Singer explains that by closing our hearts because of disappointment, or the trauma of past events, we close ourselves to the flow of energy through us, indeed the flow of life itself. Over time our hearts become constricted.

Picking and choosing when to open and close our hearts may protect us from pain in the moment, but in the long run, we lose out. We sell ourselves short.Much of your pain and trauma is from childhood events, buried deep within us because we needed to protect ourselves as children. But throughout our lives, those experiences and disappointments get triggered in the most unexpected ways. New disappointments also attach to the original trauma and strengthen it. The flow of energy is blocked.

I copied this from the internet but i can relate it’s me . How do I keep my heart open . Another example I have a sibling from my father and a few weeks ago she said that my lips were getting black and my voice was getting deep from smoking I was hurt bcuz I talked to her in the past about my struggles with quitting  and that it was a bad habit that I picked up. So I hung the phone and she called me back laughing I did not think it was funny . So I cut contact with her we have nothing in common besides we share the same dad .

• This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by Sarah Jeanne Browne.