Dear canari:

You shared in your previous threads and in this one that you are a college student living at home. Growing up, your father yelled a lot (maybe he still does), and you were bullied in elementary school. You shared that you’ve suffered from “severe depression & anxiety” for which you were prescribed several medications by a psychiatrist Aug 2019- May 2021.

The relationship with your boyfriend started Aug 2019, the same month that you started taking an anti-depressant and other psychiatric medications, and ended  April 2020, the month before you stopped the psychiatric medications.

You attributed the reason for the breakup to be your severe depression and anxiety that he tried and failed to help you with: “The reason for our breakup:– I was suffering from severe depression & anxiety and it made me difficult to deal with.. he tried to be there for me, there wasn’t a lot he could do“.

Later, you shifted your description of your ex boyfriend from a caring, empathetic boyfriend to one who has suffered from Asocial Personality Disorder since his childhood: “my ex has ASPD -Antisocial Personality Disorder“. (A person with a diagnosis of ASPD disregards and violates the rights of other people, lies, deceives, manipulates and exploit others without feeling guilty, etc.).

Going back and forth about your characterization of your ex boyfriend, you wrote:

“He is by no means an evil person..  He is a bad person, extremely arrogant only cares for himself… he would never empathize with me.. he is fully aware that he is a bad person and he even admits it… He appreciated every side of me, good & bad… he did support me whenever I would tell him I did something out of my comfort zone and fight back my anxiety. So he appreciated my bad sides, but also encouraged me to be my true self and fight back my anxiety“-

– I don’t understand these extreme contradictions in your characterization of your former boyfriend. When I asked you about these contradictions you explained that he was evil to everyone else except for his few loved-ones, you being one of his loved-ones. But then you contradicted this explanation when saying, before the explanation: “Things are so much clearer after I learned that my ex has ASPD…I understand why he did all the hurtful things to me“.

anita