Dear TeaK,

I would try to check on him, but he was usually gone if he was in car and awake. Driven to a safe spot to do those things, probably. Sometimes if his car was parked home and he was awake, I could see some quick motions like he was scrambling, but it would be hard to tell. And I didn’t want to be “that girlfriend” that is always accusing.

What you said sounds most right. Except 3/4 of my boyfriends presented as stable, put together, healed. I was never attracted to someone who needed to be fixed, yet they eventually showed themselves as people who don’t know themselves. Or know how to lie and what people want to hear. I always felt fooled when their toxicity reared up after a slow reveal.