Dear Sher:

My sympathy for the loss of your husband of 53 years. Is it okay with you if I share about a loss or losses that I experienced and my way toward a new life, even though it’s not the same loss as yours?

It’s been very slow on the forums here, but I hope other members will reply to you as well.

*I will be away from the computer for the next couple of hours or so.

anita

Dear Sher:

You are welcome. When I offered yesterday to share with you about my loss or losses, I didn’t have a particular loss in mind, but I knew that if you reply to me, saying that you are okay with me sharing.. I will be able to find plenty. That’s because there are so many losses in life, losses of different kinds. And so, as I proceed to type here, I will type whatever comes to my mind:

You mentioned that your husband died of  Parkinson’s and Dementia, two diseases that often accompany aging. This is one loss I experienced and still am: the loss of my youth, the loss of how I used to look, how my body used to feel. And now, as I age, there are new aches and pains.. my first tangible experience of what seems to be osteoarthritis, in one of my fingers, happened only a few months ago.. so here is this finger that will never be like it was, a partly disabled finger now. And as I talk to people who need hip surgeries and knee surgeries.. I think.. when is my turn.

I wonder how your husband felt when he was losing his memory.. losing his ability to move like he did before…

Another loss: I will never get to be born into a loving, healthy family.. never get the childhood I craved so deeply.. never had it, never will. I used to have the hope of experiencing something like that as an adult.. but an adult cannot experience the magic of  a child’s mind.. and so, that hope is lost to me.

How does what I shared reads like, to you?

anita