Dear Sherry:

You are welcome!

About Regret: “I seriously regret not taking it seriously and not doing enough to ‘reverse’ the diabetes right when I was diagnosed… a lot of my day goes to thinking how my life could’ve been different if I had done things differently… I’m just really regretting not taking it more seriously or not doing enough… I had the chance to actually reverse it before complications and I didn’t take that chance. I’m just not sure how to live in the present when I’m regretting so much of the past with this disease”.

About Fear: “I’m only 30 and I’m seriously afraid of living a life that has no quality of life before I turn 40… I get so overwhelmed by the feelings of not knowing where my life will be going”.

About Freedom: “I also deal with emotions of wanting to be normal and have “food freedom” (like be able to eat anything without worrying about something or the other) which I don’t think I’ve ever had because of the eating disorders and now diabetes”.

The Serenity Prayer says: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference“.

The courage to change the things that you can change and actually changing those things will bring you Freedom: complete or significant Freedom from type 2 diabetes and its complications, Freedom from other diseases and Freedom from mental/ emotional suffering (overthinking, regret, anxiety, depression).

Change Regret: Regret, like other distressing emotions, promotes disease. No longer regretting will promote your health. Can you stop regretting? Yes, although it will be difficult, and it will take time and repeated attention. How can you stop regretting? You can start by listening to Mark William’s Mindfulness series of guided meditations, you can download them for free.

Mindfulness is about experiencing the present (“I’m just not sure how to live in the present“), instead of experiencing the past (regretting it), or experiencing the future (fearing it, “not knowing where my life will be going“).

Experiencing the past or future involves a lot of thinking. Experiencing the present involves taking breaks from thinking, and focusing on sensing: becoming calmly and more fully aware of what you sense with your eyes (sights), ears (sounds), skin (touch), etc., feeling the wind against your face, the sounds of birds or frogs, the sight of clouds, the feel of cold water on your hands as you wash dishes, etc.

Overthinking about the past or present goes together with anxiety, depression, disordered eating and/ or other dysfunctions. The more you practice mindfulness (guided meditations and other mindfulness exercises available online and in books and magazines) will calm you. Calm goes together with mental and physical health.

You are not likely (as is true to every single person, long-term) to have the freedom to eat anything you want at any time, in whatever amount- not if you want to be as healthy as you can be. But having Freedom from regret, from overthinking, from too much anxiety etc.- these Freedoms feel way better and are of a much higher quality- than the freedom to eat indiscriminately.

“I’m just asking for advice on how to let go of control, how to stop wishing my life was different, stop regretting the past, and stop worrying about the future” – in addition to what I suggested above, understanding/ gaining insight into how your anxiety/ depression started, in what circumstances, can help. If you want to explore this here, with me, whenever you do, please do.

anita