Dear June:

You are very welcome and thank you for your kind words!

“In terms of ‘the talk’ it was definitely scary” – but you did it anyway, and you did it well: you are courageous and wise!

“At some point I feel that it was him that had all the power and the answer, and I don’t like the feeling of it. That is also part of why I don’t want to present it as a question for him, like, ‘What are we?’ type of situation (feels like the balls are in his court)” –

– next time a member posts about her struggles with having “the talk” with her boyfriend, or otherwise asserting herself in a relationship, can I direct her to your thread?

The way to negotiate with another, be it in a private or in a business setting, is to negotiate from a position of power. I don’t mean abusive, or unfair power, of course.

“Seeing that we (are) both in it together makes the strength of the relationship a lot more powerful” – a win-win relationship is one where more power to you means more power to him, and two powerful people make a relationship… well, powerful.

“I think it makes him feel I have a lot of value to give” – one empowering value to bring to a relationship is resourcefulness, the ability to find logical, sensible and/ or creative ways to overcome difficulties

“I almost didn’t sleep after he told me that his friends already booked the flight to EU, I had to calm my every nerve and went hours researching how Nomad life affects the relationship and what did the other person do…  I talked with him when I met…” – in regard to the relationship, he is your greatest source of information, not people who never met him. He reads like a decent guy, get to know him more and more, and don’t be a stranger, post again anytime you feel like it.

anita