Dear Kyle:

My questions were: “what about her blunders?” and “Has she always told you the truth when you needed the truth, when you deserved it?“- I know the answers even though I never met your mother and never will.

Of course, she blundered, we all blunder; of course, she didn’t always tell you the truth which you deserved to know, we all fail some others in this way.

She blundered in relationships, choosing men that she shouldn’t have, she blundered when she encouraged you to have a relationship with a man (your father) who wasn’t interested in such. And these are only the blunders I know about, based on what you shared.

If you see your mother as a perfect, blunder-less specimen, you will continue to see yourself as a Mr. Blunder.

Your mother is human, you are human, you both make mistakes. Question is how to learn from mistakes and make fewer of them,

and how to have a relationship with your mother where the two of you, now adults, can help each other to make better choices and fewer mistakes, each taking responsibility for one own’s blunders, communicating honestly with the other, and taking it from there.

If you don’t have the issue of personal responsibility for mistakes/ poor choices squared away, you continue to find yourself in your “Sticky Situation” (title of your thread), a situation where her sticky blunders get stuck to you.

anita