Dear Patrick:

“Never in my lifetime have I known depression and anxiety like this… It has become impossible for me to fake it” – no need to fake it here, on your thread. Here, you can express your raw truth as it is.

“Everything I had has been lost. Money, possessions” – I am sorry that you lost your money and possessions. It is just the other day that it occurred to me that this is true for everyone, even billionaires lose all their money and all their possessions (when they die).

“A life’s toil and nothing to show for it” – this reminds me of when I was a teenager: I was amazed when watching ants at work, how when their nest was destroyed, they didn’t waste a second and kept working, building a new nest. They were not at all discouraged about all their toil coming to nothing. I think there is a lot we can learn by watching nature.

“I don’t believe in myself anymore… I feel crushed… Anyone who knows, who has maybe done this, late in life, your wisdom and counsel will be accepted with a grateful heart” – I experienced/ experience parts of what you are experiencing. What helps me a lot was the concept of radical acceptance: that is, accepting reality as it is, radically accepting it, all the way. Are you familiar with the term?

Once in a while I recite the Serenity Prayer: “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”.

anita