Dear Eric:

You thought that you and her “could find our happiness by being together…  that she’ll rely on me as her escape from her aunt to achieve happiness“, so you invested so much time during (and after) your uni days on trying to impress her and get her attention so that the two of you will be happy together, but all of that investment was a waste because from her Instagram stories, it looks like she found happiness without you and that she is having fun at uni while you missed the opportunity to have fun in your uni days, and now you are stuck at home with your boring, “lonely family”.

You’ve been feeling lots of regret and anger at yourself for having missed out on the opportunity to have fun while at uni, and for wasting your time and energy on this girl. You blame her for misleading you but you understand that she was not the only reason for you missing out on the uni opportunity. Other reasons: “my lack of social skills, insecurities of my body and my social anxiety“.

You feel lots of bitterness and envy regarding “other people seem to have better lives“, including her. You are quite focused on her Instagram stories and selfies, suspecting that she is trying to attract other boys (not you) even though she told you in the past that she was not interested in a relationship. You blame yourself for not having done a good job in the past when trying to positively impress her on social media, and you feel like posting about yourself being in a relationship just so to show her that you are happy. The last sentence in your recent 2nd post: “I can’t post regarding my appearance like that, to rival hers,  because I’m a guy and it’s not that I have an appealing appearance“.

My thoughts and imaginings today- if I could, I would close my eyes and make these things happen: (1) I would make Eric as tall and as handsome as he wants to be, (2) I would roll back time so that Eric is 17 or so, just about to enter uni… no, I would roll back the time to when Eric as a baby: I would make sure that no one force-feeds him. I would make sure that Eric’s family is as big and as loving as he wants it to be, that little Eric has friends and is happy… no loneliness for Eric, no feeling less-than others for Eric, no pain for Eric.

And when Eric is 19, or 20, I will see to it that he falls in love with a girl who falls in love with him… and they live happily ever after.

All this happened in my imagination, but in reality, I can’t change my own appearance or roll the time back on my life, and I can’t do any of these things for you either.

So, what’s next, what is it that can be done?

You tell me, Eric: please tell me, what can be done to make your life better?

anita