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Hi Anita,
I can see the confusion but let me answer your questions. 1) I had originally been told he wouldn’t be there, I didn’t really care either way. For a long time after we broke up, I wanted to run into him. He was my first love and we broke up on bad terms, I was a teenager. I felt like I romanticized our relationship but later on, I saw it for what it really was — an immature relationship. When I started dating my now boyfriend, I no longer wanted to run into him and ceased thinking about him except from time to time as is normal.
2) My boyfriend has a work trip the weekend of the wedding so he could not attend unfortunately.
3) It wasn’t as though I openly flirted with him with everyone present. We were always around other people. We would talk among ourselves and then be joined in by other friends. It wasn’t very crazy. We were both drinking but we drank with other people as well.
I’ve only ever had two sexual partners, him and my now partner. So I guess, yes, I just wanted to tell him that. I think also I liked the attention he gave me, it felt familiar, like a hug.
But I don’t think I have “special feelings” towards him that I don’t have towards my now boyfriend. If anything, I feel like I never felt how I do now for my boyfriend for my ex.
I hope this clarifies some things for you.