Dear Caroline:

You are welcome! Pressured speech is a symptom, so I read, and a condition I suppose: both words are okay. (No need to apologize for your English, it is fine. Mine is not my first language either: I still have a problem with when and us prepositions: at, to, from, for, in, on, etc.)

“I know the problem was not my reaction (to) this pressured speech“- the problem is his action (his pressured speech), not your reaction.

“I know I cannot meet him again alone“-  I agree.

“I’ve been thinking about telling him we need to give each other space“- good. Make it clear to him, if needed, that it’s not up to him to give you space; that you will be taking the space that you need with or without his consent.

“The only reason I did not say it was over for us was that I do not want to lose people around me“- it is a very positive loss when it comes to losing the distress involved in being exposed to pressured speech and guilt-tripping.

“But I know having people around who abuse me is not the way to live“- I agree.

“Most questions he asked I said I cannot give him answer“- if you want, you are welcome to list his questions and maybe I can help you to come up with answers that feel right to you.

“I think I will say that this friendship has become too intense…  and that I appreciate the calm life I am living for past few years, as well as my good mental health and my boundaries, and that I would like them to stay that way“- excellent! I can’t think of anything more important than a calm life, a good mental health and respected boundaries!

anita