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Dear Nala1234:
” I was never taught that it was okay to share my life with anyone and it taught me to always have my guard up“- having a close relationship with your boyfriend, you did what you were not supposed to do; you did what you were taught to be not okay: you shared your life with someone.
For a month now, you have been doing what you are supposed to do; what you were taught to be okay to do: to have your guard up (in the form of a “Crippling Relationship Anxiety”).
* It so happens that my mother used to tell me how much she loved me… but what she did, in practice, was to own me via heavy duty guilt trips: I was owned, not loved.
anita