Dear Caroline:

You are very welcome and please take as much time to respond as you need. Just because I am often quick to reply does not mean that you should too. Congratulations for being engaged in learning to not assume (and instead, to check assumptions and see if they match reality), and for learning to unfreeze

“Yesterday on the meeting someone accused me of not sending something and I right away said that I did, and that my version is somewhere in the e-mail. I repeated that again 3 times, did not argue but politely defended myself … Normally I would just sit quiet and not respond, silently agreeing even if someone would not tell the truth”- very impressive progress, I am positively impressed!

“I still have those days (like today) when I just spend all day watching trashy tv shows, or youtube channels, just wasting my time. I think it’s part of the freeze response“- I don’t see how it is a part of the freeze response. I think that it’s a way to calm yourself down from the day’s stress, a way to regulate your emotions. Doing some of this is healthy.

“I think this would be great obstacle – my freezing for the whole afternoon/evening which happens almost every day and I need to change that. I noticed I am not creative at all compared to other people“- if other people are less stressed than you, then they are less exhausted and drained and therefore, they have energy left to be creative. They are fortunate for having had a healthier childhood than yours one that allows them more energy. Don’t criticize yourself for not having been as fortunate as them. Have empathy for yourself instead. The more empathy you extend toward yourself, the less stress you will experience and the less need you will have to distract yourself from the stress in front of the TV.

anita