Hi again, Anita!

Thank you for your valid question and insight.

Yes, some of what you said rings true and I’ve reflected on it a lot more in the past few years since moving to LA.

I was born in the mid-60s and raised in a terrific family. Like most families back then, things were done a bit differently, parents didn’t tell us everything, some matters were kept private or “within the family”, and “mental health” wasn’t really a thing. I feel my parents definitely did their very best. This is not to excuse anything but rather to see both sides and to empathize with their stories too (that we better grasp as we get older).

In summary and without getting into details… I just wish I had KNOWN that the person who violated me (when I was around 8 years old or younger) was in fact disciplined. The problem — I didn’t know this until I brought up the issue when I was in my mid-30s.

That’s too many years to not know… the impact was great and is still with me. As a therapist once told me, (not quoting exactly) — It is critical for kids to KNOW they are safe and rescued when something (that shouldn’t happen) happens. Especially from those who they are supposed to be able to trust most (their parents/caregivers). Although not knowing sucks for me — I made sure my daughter knew (when age appropriate) that if anyone violated her – in any way – and regardless of who they might be, it was okay to tell me and we would handle it together.

With regard to how I feel about moving away from LA — my daughter and husband are terrific new parents and have a great support system. They will all be fine because they were raised more aware and know that I am always here for them. No matter what.